The most natural thing in the world is not so natural

OK. So people say that breastfeeding is one of the most natural things in the world. Well, it's not for me. Despite countless prayers and attempts, both Kaleigh and Jacob could not latch on properly. After days of pain and fatigue, I finally resorted to pumping exclusively because I want my children to drink breastmilk.

Recently, I'm convinced that I am under a breastfeeding curse. Why would I say such a thing? Well, you already know that Kaleigh and Jacob couldn't latch on. With Kaleigh I had 2 breast infections (mastitis). For those of you who know what it's like, you know how painful they are. For those of you who have never experienced it, I would say it almost rivals labor pains. And I know about labor pains since the anesthesiologist never made it in time to give me an epidural when I delivered Jacob. I should have filed a complaint. Anyway, I digress. Besides, feeling mad pain in the breast(s), there is also fever and everything that accompanies it - fatigue, weakness, drowsiness, body aches, chills, delusions, etc. Since both infections were in my left breast, there is significant decreased milk production from that side.

Almost 2 weeks ago, somehow 2 important components to my breast pump when AWOL. Both Chris and I searched the entire house and could not find them. The pump will not work without those parts. So, I tried nursing Jacob hoping I will not become engorged and get a breast infection, and also so he can get breast milk. At first I thought he was able to latch on. For 2 days I nursed him thinking the soreness I was feeling was normal (because specialists say it is.) Then things went downhill. The soreness became intense pain and there was cracking and bleeding. He was not latching on properly after all. Then my breasts became engorged and I started feeling body aches. Finally, my suffering ended when Chris was able to buy replacement parts to the pump.

A few days ago Jacob started sleeping longer at night between feedings. I usually pump after I feed him. The other day the weather was so nice that I took Kaleigh to the park to let her get some energy out. When I got home, I had to prepare lunch for Kaleigh, feed Jacob, change his diaper, put him down for a nap, and then put Kaleigh down for a nap before I could pump again. Then that night as I was cooking dinner, "Oww... why does my right boob hurt?" Then fever followed and now I'm on antibiotics. So, now both breast have damaged ducts and have reduced milk production. Am I cursed or what? Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. Who's complaining?

My final thought is, even though Jesus Christ is a man, he suffered these pains too.